The Sunday Church Menu

Here is some of the activity of a group of churches a community in the Sacramento, CA area.

In the local Assembly of God church following the morning service the boys club known as Royal Rangers will set up a race course for their homemade race cars. I wonder which car Jesus will be pulling for.

At the community church Pastor Phil continues his study “Beauty from Ashes, Lessons from the Life of Ruth,” with Part 6, “From Empty to Full” I wonder which his congregation will be after lending them their ear.

The Presbyterians will hear a message entitled: “In the Stands, or In the Game?” using Mark 1:16-20 and John 10:1-16 as the text. I wonder if Mark and John would like it if they knew that we keep mixing our own story ingredients.

The Seventh-day Adventist’s will be listening to “When Laying Down Isn’t Being Lazy” from the series “Finding Balance in an Imbalanced World.” I wonder if pillows will be handed out.

At a community fellowship the menu for the day is: Uplifting, contemporary praise and worship, practical Bible-based messages and the opportunity to meet warm, friendly people is offered. A free worship tape is our gift to all first time visitors (one per family). I love it, you get to hear more than one message if you attend here. My butt says, “no thanks!”

Faith Lutheran’s “Labor of Love” group will hold its annual holiday bazaar in the church basement fellowship hall. That’s just bazaar!
The First Baptist pastor is preaching a preaching a series from the book of Colossians. That’s it, that’s where I want to go. Why tell me what you are preaching on, I know, maybe the pastor didn’t know when the newspaper needed his copy.

The Church of Christ, Scientist, the subject is going to be “Mortal and Immortals.” Yawn!

First Congregational Church the pastor’s sermon will be “The Widow’s Mite” based on Mark 12:38-44. When something is based on something, I wonder if that means that it caries more authority.

The Community Church of Religious Science lesson is titled: “All Emotions are Not Equal.” What more needs to be said. That should be a short presentation unless the presenter gets really emotional during the presentation.

At the Bible church, yep you guessed it, the pastor is preaching from the Bible. His sermon title is: “Praying and Watching” from Ephesians 6:14-20. Come to hear God’s word clearly explained and applied. Wow! A two for one, “explained clearly and applied.”
Lighthouse Baptist Church offers sacred music and old-fashioned useable Bible teaching. I wonder who really wants to hear “old-fashioned” stuff.

The United Methodist will hear a talk entitled: “The First and The Last.” The first and the last what?

The Nazarenes are looking for money with speakers for their annual “Faith Promise” Weekend.

Here’s a funny one to me, the second United Methodist church in the community will be considering how much good and how much ill can come from our words with a sermon called: “Curb Thy Tongue, Knave!” How “united” can the Methodist be in this community when there are two separate churches.

Woops! Yet another United Methodist church, where the sermon this Sunday is “I’m In With the In Crowd.” The theme of the sermon continues in Chapter 2 of the Book of Ruth. Well there you go, two different churches talking about Ruth in the same community. But, of special note, the United Methodist are threefold in this community. Maybe they are Trinitarian at heart, one United Methodist church for the Father, one for the Son, and one for the Holy Spirit.

Nope that’s not true, the United Methodist have five congregation in this town. Hint! Change your name.

Well there you have it. A quick review of the menu for one town in America. Literally thousands of towns will have similar menus. Could this be one of the reasons the Church in America is starving and those outside of the church are famished.

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