In our society we have moved from the prudish attitudes of the Victorian Age to the encouragement to have sexual experiences outside of marriage. Does God really care if you have sexual intercourse with someone other than your spouse? Most people think of God as an old ogre who does not want us to have any fun at all in life. We are often told in the church that we think too highly about intercourse. The truth is that we don’t think highly enough of the experience. This act is reserved for marriage because it is so intimate that it can only be developed to its highest potential within marriage.

There are three pragmatic reasons why you should commit yourself to only one person sexually.

• Reason #1: The Glue Of Trust. Sexual experiences outside of marriage weaken trust. When one discovers that his or her partner views sex as something that can be done with anyone and everyone, trust is shaken to its foundation. Sex involves tremendous vulnerability and intimacy. When one’s vulnerability and intimacy are violated, trust is shattered.
• Reason #2: Comparison. An extramarital affair brings the intimidation of being compared with another in the most dynamic arena to be found in the world—one’s sexual ability. At best, sexual experiences with our spouse give us a boost in our self-image. Our self-image can be totally destroyed if one spouse decides to have intercourse with other than his or her spouse.
• Reason #3: Distorts Our Concept Of Sex. When we begin to see sex as love or as a “fun thing to do with another,” instead of an expression of our love toward our spouse, we are in big trouble. Being a sexual being includes being sensuous, but that is only a part of the whole of being a fully sexual being.

God gives the command to contain intercourse to marriage for our good. Fidelity strengthens our deepest relationship with our spouse.

Worry is never helpful—so why worry? Usually we worry because we feel out of control of the situation and often have skepticism about God’s willingness to help us.

Here are some tips to help us fight worry in our lives:

• Tip #1: God Understands Our Situations. Scripture is clear. God really does understand where we are in life. His silence does not mean that he is not there or does not care.
• Tip #2: Worry Does Not Change Our Circumstances. If it could then we should have a moment of worry every day. When we master the idea that worry does not help change our circumstances but does hinder our health, we may find ourselves amused at our tendencies.
• Tip #3: Our Circumstances Are Often Not As Bad As We Think They Are. Reality is often less than our mind makes reality out to be. We dread more than really occurs.
• Tip #4: Worry Could Be Construed As The Opposite Of Faith. The great people of the Bible could easily have worried in the circumstances of life: Daniel in the lion’s den; Joseph in prison; Abraham following God without knowing exactly where he was going; Mary being pregnant without a husband; Paul when shipwrecked; John when exiled on the isle of Patmos.

Enough already!

We don’t need to worry. God will take care of his children.

It’s morning and this afternoon I will be with you briefly discussing blogs. I am writing this from a small seminar I am attending this morning at Vineyard Community Church in Shoreline, WA where Brian McLaren is discussing his latest book about the Kingdom of God.

I have been writing about this subject for twenty years or so. So it is interesting to hear an author that has brought it out in a popular sense.

Brian ended this time by reading a prayer from his website. You can read it here.

Today I heard that a friend of mine, Debbie Hunter, lost here mom last week. I sent her a copy of the following that I wrote about ten years ago.

Life must continue for individuals who remain when a loved one dies. There are many adjustments which must occur. Mourning without guilt is a goal for all who are left behind. The following are the stages of grief in which people fluctuate. There is a normal movement from the first to the last, while at the same time there is vacillation.

• Shock and Emotional Freeze-Up. When a person dies, either expectedly or unexpectedly, the ones who remain are left in shock. Their emotions temporarily freeze. In this stage it is good to weep.
• Problem Distinguishing Between Fact and Fantasy. There is an expectation that the deceased will return at any moment. Many things will remind them of their loved ones. A person will sometimes live in a life of fantasy and think it to be fact.
• Emotional Flood Gates Open at the Most Unexpected Moment. Because people often restrain their emotions, they will often break at a later stage. One should not be ashamed of this occurring regardless of the place or time. It is usually uncontrollable.
• Association. The most difficult time a person lives through after a death is the special days like Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. During these times of association, grieving people need extra care. There are many things which arouse association. It is okay to ask for special care and attention during these times.
• Acceptance. At this point fact becomes real. This does not mean that emotions will not surge or associations will not occur. It does mean that the person remaining accepts the facts and faces life accordingly.
• Facing the Future. A person never gets over sharing life without someone else. However, one must adjust to life without the presence of the loved one. Set some goals, do some things you have always wanted to do (Kübler-Ross, Elisabeth, On Death and Dying. 1969).

There was in the early church the name of a functionary that combined three things…we’ve lost the name, but not the functions.

This person who performed these functions was first of all the grave-digger. He was the one who dug the catacombs and prepared the bodies of the early Christians for burial.

Second, because of his presence at the catacombs, he was also the one who presided at the rituals of these Christians like the Lord’s Supper and baptism. In other words, the grave-digger was also the priest.

But, the grave-digger/priest had a third function. He was also the one who created the art on the catacomb walls…and so the combination of grave-digger/priest/artist was called a “Fossarian.” The Order of the Fossarians, isn’t that a great name?

Where has all the art in the church gone?