Question
My question is: If I commit a sin consciously, knowing full well that I am going to commit that sin, and also know that I am committing that sin as means of obtaining some sort of reward, is there still forgiveness for me or am I forever damned?

Answer
This is a question of sin management. I think Dallas Willard provides the best answer that I have seen to this question in his book Divine Conspiracy (chapter 3). He speaks about having a Bar Code Faith. When we get “saved” we get a bar code. It doesn’t matter what is inside the package as long as the bar code is scanned. We say a prayer and give mental ascent to a set of doctrines and get our bar code so that when we die we can go to heaven. We have turned Christianity into a religion of death instead of life. We’ve made Christianity all about sin. Jesus never preached about sin. He preached about living under the rule of God. This does not mean that the question of sin is not important. It is. But our attitude about sin should become more aligned with Scripture and not some popular version of the Gospel of Sin Management. Take a look at Divine Conspiracy and see if it is helpful.

Question
When it comes to confessing sin, how many times should one say sorry to God as part of their confession? I say sorry lots of time, as I feel guilty. Can you advise?

Answer
Dallas Willard in his book Divine Conspiracy has a great chapter on the “Gospel of Sin Management.”

Our focus may be misplaced on the continual confession of sin. In management there is a saying, “Your system is perfectly designed to get your present result.” If one’s system is to focus on sin, the result will be sin and the confession of it. To be a Christian means to be related to Jesus. It does not mean that you have given a mental ascent to a group of doctrines and received a salvatic barcode that gets you to heaven. However, the gospel is the good news of the presence and availability of life in the Kingdom, now and forever.

It seems that one’s focus should be on a deepening relationship with God rather than on how to manage one’s sins by a continual pattern of sin and confession of sin.

I would encourage you to pick up Willard’s book and read Chapter 3 on the “Gospel of Sin Management.”

Question
Does good Christianity allow for masturbation? I’m going through adolescence and I cannot stop masturbating. However, I am also a spiritual Christian and I wonder if God approves of it. In Matthew chapter 5 verse 30, it states, “if your right hand causes you to sin, you should chop it off, for it is better to have a part of a body rather than a full body thrown into hell.” I use my right hand to masturbate. Is Matthew telling me to chop it off, or is the verse to be interpreted differently? Thank you for answering my question.

Answer
Thanks for such open honesty. I am not aware that Scripture says anything directly about masturbation. However, I can tell you that the Scripture that you quoted from Matthew 5.30 has nothing to do with masturbation.

Masturbation often has to do with lust. So you might ask yourself the question of why you are masturbating. It’s tough to be in adolescence. Keep honest and open and God will see you through these years and hopefully many years to come.

Question
Where in the Bible does it say that it is a sin to have sex before marriage?

Answer
Sex is an important part of life. It should not come as any surprise that sex attracts a lot of interest and raises many questions. Your question suggests that there might be a verse somewhere in Scripture that answers the question. Scripture, however, is not a list of rules and regulations but a story about the love of a Creator God who has the best in mind for his creation.

The common word for “sex before marriage” in the New Testament is porneia. It occurs twenty-six times in the New Testament and translated by different English words in different translations (fornication in the KJV and sexual immorality in the NIV). It’s usual meaning is to participate in sexual intercourse outside of marriage.

In 1 Corinthians 6.18, Paul exhorts the members of the Corinthian church to “flee from sexual immorality” (porneia) after telling them that having sex with a prostitute (i.e., having sex with one with whom a person is not married) is not acceptable behavior for a believer.

There is probably a lot of preachy stuff out there about the subject of premarital sex that is a great turn off to those who are struggling with their sexual appetites. It may be well to remember that those who call themselves believers in Christ are called to live by a different standard of life than those who are not believers. When faced with a situation of having sex with a partner to whom you are not married, you might ask yourself the question. If Jesus were you in that very situation, how would he act?

Question
Since marriage only allows two people to get married. I would like to know of the Bible’s opinion of open marriages and engaging in homosexuality while in a marriage?

Answer
The ancient world had “open marriages.” The male was married, had concubines, and visited prostitutes. The New Testament offers a different way of viewing marriage, one woman or man at a time. It seems clear that Scripture does not allow for any same sex relationships in or out of marriage. Read First Corinthians and Romans (especially the first couple of chapters) for Paul’s thoughts on the subject of same sex sexual relationships.

Here’s a bit of comic relief. This is for all those who are unsure of what a Quarterhorse is…